Girl, Get Up!: Breaking Free from Negative Thought Loops and Embracing Some Uncomfortable Truths
“Girl, Get Up!”
I cackled as I wrote this heading. It came about during a talk with one of my favs. She was telling me that she had to get herself together… Like Chile, if you don’t get up… and activate the boss YOU!
Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash
We were talking about life…
What we were journeying through; Me with the blog idea, and her, building up her dream career.
As we shared about our processing, it came up how spoiled we are by Spirit (a/k/a God, Source, Universe).
We are legit, proud, Brats!
We were so used to “succeeding” at all we do…
We’ve often had the opportunity to create circumstances that support us in succeeding….
And we know what it’s like to almost always “win.”
But then…
We have these experiences where things don’t go as planned or “expected,” and we lose our footing.
We get caught up and stuck in the narrative of the experience.
Caught up in the story we create of what is happening and what that says about us.
We want to rationalize it. Make sense of it.
Looking to God like… huh?
WHAT JUST HAPPENED? *confused face*
Photo by Adam Birkett on Unsplash
And sometimes we stay there.
Stay there with the ruminating thoughts. Playing narratives that put us in the victim mentality, often leading to symptoms of depression.
To a state of being where an aspect of who we say we are is dying, as it has been proven to be false.
That one time I journaled my way through, getting to the root of the state of my depression.
Early last year, I found myself in a state of depression like I have never experienced before. It turned my life on its head.
I was mourning my father’s passing, overwhelmed by my family life, dealing with finances, attempting to understand who I was without my father’s presence, and not enjoying my job much…
There was so much going on.
I felt like a failure.
I felt overwhelmed.
Despite all my accolades, part of me was disappointed with my life.
I blamed my job for where my business was not… convincing myself that the job was taking up too much of my time and energy.
How am I supposed to work an 8-hour shift, cook, exercise, create content, and/or plan marketing?!
When will I research?
When will I study?
And may I remind you, God… I am also a Projector Aura Type, so I don’t have access to consistent energy!
I was saying to myself that I had no time to do what I truly wanted to do, and with that, I was angry!
BUT THEN, I had the idea to go to my journal.
I was inspired to write out all the things I would do if I had an open schedule and did not have to concern myself with money. How would I spend my time and invest my energy?
When I looked back at what I wrote… I laughed.
Like, I legit laughed… everything on my list I was able to do… and most of it, I could start that day!
Maybe I won’t have limitless time with it… but there was space for it.
I realized in this experience, that I WAS IN MY WAY!
I WAS THE DRAMA.
I wasn’t managing my time well.
I wasn’t at the level of commitment my dream required (this, I realized recently).
I wasn’t dedicated.
I wasn’t keeping promises to myself.
I wasn’t saying no to the excuses; I would lean right into them.
I was the DRAMA!
My self-sabotaging tactics were playing in the background.
What I want to create in my life… isn’t what’s already established… so there is no blueprint for it, and that is what it is!
It was time I took accountability.
What worked for the military, law school, university, and other jobs/commitments… may not work here!
The commitment, and dedication, are different… and I still am figuring it out.
But in those moments where I was spinning the narrative that the job was the issue.
Not enough time in the day was the issue.
Or that how Source designed me was the issue….
I was pointing at everything except myself!
Blaming circumstances outside of me.
It was the words I wrote in the journal that helped me set myself free from that mental prison I was in.
And once I was awakened… the pep talk was something like this—
Girl, Get up! You are tripping. lol
The “problem” here, if any… is you!
Your thoughts. Your perspective on the situation. Your beliefs.
I could not run away from what was staring me in the face.
I could change my circumstances, by changing my choices. But first, I needed to be honest with myself, and that was uncomfortable.
Photo by Tiago Bandeira on Unsplash
It was also freeing.
As I am writing this article, the thought is coming to me, that sometimes, we aren’t quite “ready” for what we’re praying for. And so, some of what we experience is part of the “preparation” phase.
I accept that. I can journey with that possibility.
Talking to my friend, and thinking about my own, “Girl, Get up!” moment… I wanted to share some perspectives that help me ground, and maintain groundedness, in TRUTH
I’m talking to a version of myself here, but maybe these are some reminders for you.
Photo by Suresh Kumar on Unsplash
IT’S MOSTLY IN OUR HEAD: Our mind is a powerful place
Years ago I realized that I could make myself believe anything; I was in my early 20’s. I thought it was the coolest thing that I could convince myself of anything, basically, brainwashing myself.
At the time, I had no idea how good it could get, or how important this skill would be.
With time and practice, I have made programming and brainwashing myself a lifestyle practice.
I am mindful of who I am around, who I am willing to work for, what I watch, what I listen to…who I spend time with, what I read… and all the things, because I know how susceptible I am to picking up people’s habits and mannerisms (I think it’s my Gemini rising placement).
To take away the possibility of picking up habits I don’t enjoy, I choose to be in spaces and places that I respect, and wouldn’t mind, if I subconsciously picked up a mannerism, or two.
FYI, our mind is constantly picking up information.
And another FYI, our thoughts impact our emotions, whether we’re thinking on purpose or not. Our emotions are simply our body’s reaction (the sensation) to what we’re THINKING and/or experiencing.
With that, I encourage us to recognize the importance of understanding how thoughts work, and how they impact our health and wellbeing.
Because whew… when I am overly stressed (my body decides this), the physical stomach pain I experience can’t be ignored.
All problems are illusions of the mind. — Eckhart Tolle
Awareness is key to interrupting negative thought loops.
A negative thought loop is a pattern of recurring negative or unproductive thoughts that replay in one’s mind. It often involves dwelling on pessimistic perspectives, self-doubt, or worries, creating a cycle that reinforces and amplifies negative emotions.
Where focus goes, energy flows
A tried and true way I have found to break free from a negative thought loop always begins with AWARENESS.
Recognizing the pattern. Recognize the thoughts, and acknowledge them; so you can address them.
Reframing the thoughts. Negative thought loops often distort reality (remember, I was the drama lol). Stop, think, and question if your thoughts are absolute “truth,” and consider some other, more empowering perspectives you could put in its place. It’s not about denying your reality, but being able to focus on what can empower you, and move you forward, no matter how slow that movement may be.
Adopting a more positive and constructive mindset. The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams, talks about this and gives helpful language to it. It talks about building mental immunity, something I deeply believe in and support. We can build mental immunity by cultivating awareness, practicing gratitude, focusing on solutions, focusing on helping others, surrounding ourselves with positivity, learning from setbacks, practicing self-compassion, and engaging in self-reflection (this list is not exhaustive).
It is not always possible to do away with negative thinking, but with persistence and practice, one can gain mastery over them so that they do not take the upper hand. ― Stephen Richards
Remember, It’s a Practice.
Building Mental Immunity is a practice. The probability of us experiencing a negative thought loop about something (anything), is very likely… and that’s okay.
Trust that each time you practice interrupting your thoughts and empowering yourself, you are programming yourself to get in the habit of building mental immunity. You are programming yourself to perceive life and its experiences from a place of possibility and opportunity.
I legit see the good in everything. Sometimes I laugh because it sounds crazy due to how I was raised, but my truth is, that all is well. Everything has its purpose and it’s for my good. And even though I may have a moment of Spiral, I come back to my truth.
With time and practice, the negative thought loop becomes less frequent… and you may perceive life and all its possibilities from the energy that, “all is well. Always,” or something like that.
So anytime you find yourself in your mind, going in circles with thoughts that don’t serve you…observe them. You don’t have to engage or interact.
And if you do engage, and then become aware… it’s not too late to interrupt them.
Laugh about it even.
Be lighthearted about the situation because it’s truly okay.
The experience is an invitation to practice. To build mental immunity.
Try not to judge yourself, as if you are wrong, for this human experience you’re having (wink).
The biggest problem any of us ever face is our own negative thinking.
― Robert Schuller
Sometimes you’ll be invited to sit with it.
With the discomfort.
With the sensations and feelings.
However, keep in mind that emotions are guide posts. They are messengers (energy in motion). Allow them to past through. Or in some situations…
Stay with them as long as you need to, however, don’t get stuck there.
You’ll know when enough is enough… and at some point, you’ll be ready to Get up!
And you won’t be the same!
These experiences are not wasted. They provide data we can process to understand our needs and desires more clearly.
Sometimes Spirit removes it for our good.
We may not see it at the moment. And sometimes, all we have to look to or believe in is Faith.
Many times we’ve created a narrative around situations to make ourselves feel safe. But if we listened to ourselves, and felt into our bodies, we might notice that… we are what made the situation feel correct.
We convinced ourselves of a story, and yet, it wasn’t true.
If we’re honest, we probably wanted more than what we were given.
But we were settling… and now it’s been removed. And in this removal, there is space for something new…
Maybe it’s time for something more aligned.
Maybe it’s time you be honest about your desires.
And maybe in this season, your price is going up!
Who knows?!
But oftentimes, what we are “losing,” is divinely timed.
And our attachment to it is probably the only thing that is helping it hold on. Release your grip!
God don’t play about you — don’t fold!
Spirit has shown you time and time again that you have everything you need within you.
Play the memories: When did you think you couldn’t, but then you DID?!
God got you! Don’t let up on your faith!
You’re supported.
Time and time again, God has shown you.
Do you remember?
Remember! Keep it in mind.
Because you will be tested. You will be challenged. You will be called to journey through the dark.
Through challenges.
Through the unknown. But friend — the lights will turn on, and you’ll be seeing clear as day.
It gets brighter. The energy will feel lighter. The pressure will be released.
Because sometimes you have to see that what you’re carrying is too heavy.
But you first have to feel the weight of it before you can remember, and KNOW that it’s not meant to be on you.
A negative mindset will keep you stuck in a cycle of desperation & fear
― Sope Agbelusi
If You’re In Denial.
It’s time to get honest with yourself.
What part are you playing in this drama (aka life)?
What aren’t you happy with?
What do you want to experience more of?
Are you denying yourself of your desires?
Are you speaking life over your circumstances, but moving like you’re scared and don’t believe?
Are you believing God for what you’re praying about?
Like… What is tea?
BE REAL WITH YOURSELF…
How are you contributing to your pain and discomfort?
We can’t address what we refuse to see!
AT SOME POINT, I HAD A CHOICE TO MAKE. And I believe it’s a choice we often have to make… We can make peace with what is, or we can commit to changing. But the lingering, often keeps us stuck.
So, if you’re in a place where you’re feeling stuck, and you’re ready to make a move… I am reaching my hand out to you, and sternly saying (with big love)…
Girl, GET UP!
I’ll walk with you.
Please share any thoughts in the comments…
Thank you for being here with me.